So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
