Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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