why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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