Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
