the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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