I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Randomize
