Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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