im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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