Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
