So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
