At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Come see our sink grown plant.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
