I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
