definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
