i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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