try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
