i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
