I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
