Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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