Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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