He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
