bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
and you fell through a lawn chair
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize