can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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