Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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