some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
