That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
