Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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