my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
