i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
