just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
