If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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