You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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