What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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