I think i peed on brittanys purse
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
