is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
