I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She announced her abortion via fbk
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
