Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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