I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
