I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she smelled like a LAN party
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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