just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
