am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
