We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
