Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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