as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
