He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize