you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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