whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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