He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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