Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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