Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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