i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Can I color on your dick again?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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