apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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