I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
