I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
