I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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