We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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