Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
