Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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