I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
